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[[groovy musics: ]]

12:07 a.m. // 24 June 2003

Big Hair Bowling was a success! We had three lanes going. The hair was not as big as it could have been (especially mine, because I don't own a hair dryer and Dwayne had to teach me how to "tease" it), but it was still good times. I told people that it was not to be construed as a birthday party, but more like because it's my birthday, I get to make people do what I want them to do, and that is to have big hair and to go bowling. And to eat coconut-chocolate pie and pecan pie and fruit tart.

Here were the prizes I awarded:

  • Biggest Hair to Christina (a pair of white wristbands with stars). Her hair was totally eighties, and it stayed big all night. I asked her what was her secret (White Rain).
  • Best Funny Hat to Josh (a hula girl air freshener), because he wore Mickey Mouse ears the whole night, with a white shirt and a tie.
  • Best Dressed to Halee (a devil air freshener) because she had a bowling dress with her name on the back!
  • Heather and Jonah and this girl, I forgot her name but she's Warren Hearne's fiancee, were actually best dressed by far, but they all showed up like ten minutes before the bowling alley closed. Bouffants and a pompadour, very stylish but a little too fashionably late.
  • Most Hair Products to Colleen (the prize was a Mars-shaped container of snot-like substance). Actually the real winner probably would have been Dwayne, but I couldn't give him the prize because his hair is like 20% Murray's pomade at any given time. Colleen dyed her hair auburn (I think), and even though she did not do it for this occasion, it was the first time I saw it dyed. Then she teased it out and though she looked like Lara Flynn Boyle.
  • Best Bowler to Aaron, because he got 148 on the first game. The prize was the scary rubber monkey. He's throwing a fruit at you but I like to pretend that it's feces.
  • Granny Bowling Award to Nazli (chattering teeth), because she didn't know how to bowl and gave up, and also because she was dressed as a Pink Lady!

    We were very self-conscious at the bowling alley because there were a lot of people there when we first arrived, and Dwayne and I waited outside for other people with weird hair to show up. After we got our lanes, these ladies asked Dwayne and Hunter, "Who's the groom?" They explained it was for a birthday party, not a wedding. Hunter told them we were a team called the Friendsters, and the lady said, "The Friendsters. I like that."

    Hunter and Josh & Nazli gave me records, and they both turned out to be the White Stripes' Elephant because I've been going around whining how I can't find it on vinyl. Josh was apologetic but actually it's pretty funny. Hunter wrapped mine in newspaper, and his card was a From Justin to Kelly movie ad with Justin and Kelly crossed out and replaced with our names.

    Dalton gave me the Bottle Rocket DVD! sweeeet! I will be watching this soon.

    Dwayne gave me a James Kochalka book, which turned out to be really depressing even though it's about monkeys and robots! But it's good, because I've never really seen any Kochalka. I don't know if I'm even spelling it right. Dwayne also gave me a cube orange thing. It's Japanese, it doesn't make any sense.

    My mom gave me a check, and my dad gave me a Chinese cookbook that makes my mouth water, and my aunt gave me a bracelet that actually fits me, plus a candleholder and pillow covers with dragonflies on them. Karen gave me a hemp wallet made in Thailand, plus a vegan spike bracelet and a pink sleeveless shirt with a picture of a Chinese girl on it (she says it looks like me). Mikey gave me his spit, because he's a dog.

    Now I'm twentyfour and one day old. The end.

     

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