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[[groovy musics: riverboat gamblers, cavedweller, retro-spectro, rise & shine, all girl summer fun band, mix tape that I made four years ago]]

1:26 a.m. // 30 August 2003

I am so tired why am I so tired so tired and hungry.

I drove down to Dallas before work today and so-so-so-sophia took me to lunch at the cosmic and I had soy chai. She told me about how she was out walking when the blackout hit and people started freaking out because they couldn't get their Starbucks.

also today my parents called me at work demanding to know (1) why I hadn't called them recently and (2) why I'm wasting my time working at a job that doesn't pay enough instead of going to grad school. problem is, I tried to appease them a while ago by saying that I'd take a class in the fall, maybe German, and thing is, I forgot about that, and about applying and registering for college, whereas they did not.

this makes me all very weary and makes me feel like a failure even though I know I'm not.

jesus, don't even ask me what I'd study in grad school. my parents, they don't understand that I was the kid who fell asleep at every lecture, even the class with eight people in it seated around a conference table. I scraped through only by dint of last-minute paper-writing and not reading books and not talking in class because it's scary (ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK) and merciless cramming and and and and and and and...

tomorrow we are flying to boston and hanging out with kai-how for a little bit, then going to Maine for the social event of the season, THE WEDDING OF MY FRIEND BRIAN to his dearly beloved SARAH.

 

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