1:01 p.m. // 08 November 2002

Q: Does it make you an asshole if you go upstairs in between bands with our boyfriend to look at the video games and there are only two other people up there upstairs and they're playing the karate fighting game and you loudly waste a quarter trying to play Tron, cussing a lot, "meh... fuck!" and "goddammit!", and game over, and then the two guys start to leave but one of them lingers to talk to your boyfriend and you haven't even noticed, not the slightest, that the guy who left was the guy you dated briefly, for a matter of weeks, a year ago? I.e., you never even realized that the guy was who the guy was until your boyfriend tells you hours later?

Does that make me an asshole, or does that just make me look like an asshole because I didn't even acknowledge him? Is it because I don't look straight at people, especially at strangers? Only twice have I seen him at shows so I'm not on the lookout, not on guard. Should I be?

(Or is it because I'm wearing my old glasses instead of my contacts, which the new eye doctor is going to yell at me about because I've been wearing the same pair of contact lenses for two and a half years? So never mind.)

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